Marian’s* Domestic Violence Story

My first marriage at 19 was physically abusive. I finally left after he held a pillow over my head and I pretended to pass out. I ran to the neighbors and called my big sis, who never did approve of W. Anyway, W stallked me, broke into my house and stole my teargas that I always kept on me. Hid in my closet, and I was sleeping in my bed with a friend. No sex, but we had partied and crashed there along with others in the house. He held us hostage with a 357 magnum, forcing this person to perform oral sex on me. Kept shoving the loaded pistol in my face. He left the room for a second when he heard a noise. I jumped up and when he returned I hit him as hard as I could twice with a rolling pin. I ran and he came after me. He hit me with the gun just as I reached the doorknob. It went off and the bullet opened up my back, hit me once in the leg and ended up in my calf. I was totally naked and covered with blood when the ambulance took me. He was out of jail and driving by my house the day I was released from the hospital. He finally seemed to just disappear maybe moved back to his home state.

I meet another guy at a party (bad way to meet people – especially if you are under the influence). This man spent the night and did not leave. He made himself very useful, but turned out to be a rager, who broke things, screamed at people, basically a bully. He never hit me, but ruined us financially (5 bankruptcies from business he started.  Spent all of my inheritance, wanted to know where I was at all times. We had two kids. 29 Years later, he dumped me for a Viet Nam love.  He then took everything of value, left, and later returned and turned my son and I in on a grow operation that he himself had set up.

I feel like I ‘ve wasted my life with these men. The second was worse then the first, at least he apologiezd after I got a black eye.

I feel worthless, used, tossed out, I think I have PTSD, my health is not good, Dr says stress related. I am just at the beginning of the journey to figure me out. I’m scared, embarrassed and broke, but I have a job, kids who love me and a lot of supportive friends.

Please please please, don’t let a man ruin you life like I did. I could have stopped him at anytime by leaving, but I chose to live that way. I really hate myself. I started counselling last week. I hope it helps.

Peace & love

Marian*

*Names have been changed to protect identities