Denise’s Domestic Violence Story

I meet Jack* at the local gym Boston, Mass. Wow he was drop dead gorgeous, funny ,smart he loved to read, loved the outdoors, just perfect . I didn’t pay any attention to all the warning signs, there was plenty. One sign he lied about his kids he told me he didn’t have any found out after he moved in he had two and a ex-wife.

Jack had a great job in construction made great money we feel in love fast he moved in only a few months after we meet. He was wonder to my family and my young son. He started the control with my friends and me going out to have fun. Told me not to keep alcohol in the home because it was only going to make me drink more. I was a home body for the most part so that was easy for him to keep me in control. Home and work was my life for the most part after we met.

The job market became slow in Boston for him so we relocated to New York. That’s when hell became my home. Jack started to make life hard when ever he could I had to give him my car to trade in so he could get a car for him self and I had to walk. He took control of all the money because he said I was not a good saver.

His family’s functions was were the worst he always told me I did or said something wrong and that’s when he went from fast to furious. We went to family party one of his family members made a comment about the money to him saying who’s money is she spending meaning me. Omg as we got in the parking lot he started yelling at me about the forty dollars I spent telling me im trying to take control of his money. I just had it at that point I’ve changed my whole life for this relationship and he was making me feel fearful of him at that point.

He was driving I told him this is not working anymore its time for it to end because he was not happy anymore and I was not going to take it anymore him putting me down and belittling me. That is when he started yelling your going to leave me now. Jack pulled off the high way on to a dark side street he began to try to push me out of the passenger side door were I was sitting. When I couldn’t get the door open to get out he got out and ran around the back of the car. All I can remember is trying to lock the door he looked like a animal I was so scared .I locked the door but in my panic I tried to hold the door handle and unlocked the door instead. He just on top of me choking me with is for arm and saying at the same time I LOVE YOU DON’T YOU KNOW THAT. At some point he got off me and a few seconds later the police showed up a home owner in the area called because they say the car and heard yelling. I was still in denial I told the police nothing happened we just got into argument about money and that’s all. I was thinking he didn’t need to go to jail I was working I could save and move out on my own bad mistake. You would think after that thinks would cool down and I could get out easy. Jack got worst he just really didn’t care after that deeming me sexually telling me if I was going to get over it I had to leave now.

I had no family or friends close he was growing worst day to day. After a few sleepless nights I went into a domestic violence shelter. Truly all alone and him looking for me even traveling to my old hometown I transferred to a domestic violence shelter far away to a place even I never knew, because he was still upset and very angry with me saying to others I messed up his life . Needless to say two shelters later and miles away I was able to start over and live a happy and healthy life now for myself and my son. Its was not easy at all but I did it . And you can too.

Denise*
March 2014