Tahlia’s* Domestic Violence Story

I am a 37 year old woman, mother of three children and grandmother of one. In October 2010 I married my husband, who at the time was sweet, gentle, attentive to my needs, opened doors for me, and just seemed to want to be apart of my life and the lives of my kids.

After the holiday things started to change, he dint want me to work, he broke my cell phone, would ask me everyday if I was cheating, push me, throw his fist up and tell me he could break my face, and never let me do anything alone, even walk on the beach. It all happened so fast that I didn’t know what to do. Then in March of 2011 it got worse, he started forcing me everyday to have sex with him, and when I would say I didn’t want too, he would say I was cheating that’s why, I was a no good whore, he would tell me his family would say I was no good for him, and that he should get rid of me, but he would say he loved me that is why he was with me.

Then he started keeping all the money, he wouldn’t give me anything, he would put all the money in the pocket of whatever pants he had on, and even in his bed pants while he slept so I couldn’t take the money, he would say I just wanted a job, and money so I could leave him. I felt lonely, scared, and confused. I had left three times, with my daughter but because I had no money, and he would always tell me after I left that he would hunt me down and kill me and whoever I was with, so I felt so helpless, and scared to death I didnt know what to do. I mean the police say there is nothing they can do for you, because its he said she said, you really start to believe that he is all you have, you are worthless, and ou feel the way he did you was actually your fault.

I was dying slowly everyday, and I knew that if I did not get out he may kill me. After enduring almost 11 months of abuse, I left him just four days ago. At this moment, I feel scared, alone, and worry about whats going to happen if he does find me. All this is new to me right now, and I am just trying to figure out what I am suppose to do next, and find work, build my life back, and keep myself safe and my kids safe at the same time. I just wonder whats going to happen next.

Tahlia*
September 2011

*Names have been changed to protect identities.